Beauty and the Beast
(Revision - still thinking of couplet changes) -- I don't want to give up the line about 'peter's son' -- I think it works for this poem -- I wasn't trying to be funny with it.Beauty and the Beast(In...
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I have class in five minutes, so I'll critique more later.I notice right off the bat that L2 has 6 feet.
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This is certainly moving, and rehashing the tragedy truly fills me with a flurry of emotions. That man was quite a monster.As far as the poem is concerned...For what sam mentioned, I'd just remove...
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oooh, February. This sad story is ever so delicately written. It is poignant and beautiful. I was going to suggest omitting the name from line 2 also...not only for meter's sake, but I think it...
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Quote:This is certainly moving, and rehashing the tragedy truly fills me with a flurry of emotions. That man was quite a monster.I'm at work, and on someone else's computer. I just wanted to say very...
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February, this poem has a lot of possibilities, and it also has some problems.I think that, overall, it's a good sonnet and the idea of it is excellent. I agree about removing "Laci" from line 2....
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Wow. I know how to count (really, I do! ) . I'm surprised at how I just glossed over my error in Line 2. I was too engrossed in the subject matter to notice it. Thanks for pointing out my mistake and...
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Well, it's your poem. If you are going to keep "Peter's son," at least capitalize Peter.I do admire your tackling a subject like this. Too many sonnets are all sweetness and light, and the world is...
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Quote:Well, it's your poem. If you are going to keep "Peter's son," at least capitalize Peter.Margaret,I think capitalizing Peter in this poem would be akin to putting quotations around it -- as if I...
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I don't like the meter in L12, that's the only thing I found. I had to search, too, so you know this is a pretty good one
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I agree with Sam about the metrical problem in line 12. Otherwise, this is shaping up very nicely.Margaret
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Hi Feb -This one is very nearly there, I think. I agree that devoured in L12 bumps a bit. Maybe 'gorged on' or something like that?The slight qualm I always have with this message is focused in the...
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Quote:Hi Feb -This one is very nearly there, I think. I agree that devoured in L12 bumps a bit. Maybe 'gorged on' or something like that?The slight qualm I always have with this message is focused in...
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Hey, Feb I tend to agree with some of the earlier comments. I'm know enough of Laci's story that the poem was fine as far as clarity goes. Your name itself speaks of a dainty thing;so delicate and...
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